The Cows

Somewhere in a field, some place, some time ago, there was a cow just chewing the grass and masticating. As it ruminated, it thought to itself, “It’s getting ever so dry these days! We need some rain, otherwise the grass will wither and dry out, and then I’ll have nothing to eat!”

The cow thought about it some more and then decided to talk to the sky and said, “I don’t know if anyone, or anything, is up there, but I know that rain comes downwards from where you are. Would you, whatever you are, be so kind as to send some rain please?”

After a short while, there was no answer, but a little shower of rain fell from a light grey cloud.

“Oh! Thank very much!”

  The next day, the cow was thinking to itself again about the grass and rain once more. 

“Hmm, I think we need a little more rain,” said the cow, then turned to the sky and said, “I don’t know if anyone, or anything, is up there, but I know that rain comes downwards from where you are. Would you, whatever you are, be so kind as to send some rain please?”

And sure enough, a little later, some more rain fell, pleasing the cow. It was overjoyed and started jumping about and mooing gratefully.

“What on earth are you doing?” asked another cow.

“It rained! It rained!”

“You silly cow! Of course it rained! Why wouldn’t it?”

“Ah, but I asked for it to happen!”

“Don’t be daft! Who did you ask? Another cow?”

“No, I asked whatever is up there to send some down here, and they did!”

The second cow was not convinced and raised its eyebrows.

“So you spoke to this invisible thing and it answered you?”

“Well, it didn’t speak, but it sent rain!”

“Prove it…”

“Okay. If you agree, with what I say now, please say, ‘I agree’ after my request….”

“Okay, okay!”

“I don’t know if anyone, or anything, is up there, but I know that rain comes downwards from where you are. Would you, whatever you are, be so kind as to send some rain please?”

“I agree.”

Suddenly, a heavy shower descended from the sky, drenching the two cows with refreshing rain. Both of them started jumping about and mooing loudly with gratitude. So much so that a third cow noticed them and looked over with curiosity.

“Oi! What on earth are you doing?”

“It rained! It rained!”

“You silly cows! Of course it rained! Why wouldn’t it?”

“Ah, but we asked for it to happen!”

“Don’t be daft! Who did you ask? This other cow?”

“No, we asked whatever is up there to send some down here, and they did!”

The third cow was not convinced and raised its eyebrows.

“So you two spoke to this invisible thing and it answered you?”

“Well, it didn’t speak, but it sent rain!”

“Prove it…”

“Okay. If you agree, with what we say now, please say, ‘I agree’ after my request….”

“Alright. Go on then, this’ll be good! (You daft cows!)”

“Right then. We don’t know if anyone, or anything, is up there, but we know that rain comes downwards from where you are. Would you, whatever you are, be so kind as to send some rain please?”

Then sure enough, a few moments later, it started raining with a heavy downpour, dowsing the three cows  until they were drenched. Even though very wet, all 3 cows danced and mooed with joy. 

 In the field next to theirs, stood a bull, all by itself. It had been watching them all the time.

“How did you do that?”

The first cow, excitedly said, “We’ve been asking for rain, and it worked!!!”

“More like a coincidence if you ask me! I have been watching you dippy cows all the time and each time, I saw grey clouds coming across the sky.”

“That’s because we asked for them!”

“Who did you ask?”

“Er, well, I don’t know who or what, but it answered! Didn’t i? You saw it didn’t you? And you! All 3 of us witnessed it.”

“So this ‘thing,’ that you don’t know about, which you can’t see and who doesn’t speak back to you….”

“The one whom we call upon…”

“Yeah, this ‘thing,’ what else can they do? Send a tornado of dung? Throw cowpats at you with the wind?”

The three cows looked at each other with confused looks on their faces. 

“Er, well, we don’t know!”

“Alright then. I’ve got something to ask for; I’d like a nice, big, gnarly tree so I can scratch myself on it. And I want to hear some thunder in the sky, so it breaks up this humidity, ‘coz it’s just so warm.”

The cow tilted it’s head from side to side, weighing up the request. 

“Er, I’ll give it a try! I haven’t asked for anything like that yet… So bare with me….”

“Here we go,” said the bull, starting to laugh at the cow. “Making excuses before it doesn’t happen, are we?”

“No! But I’m sure there’s something up there!”

“Yeah, yeah…. Come on; big scratchy tree and thunder, if you please!”

“Well, it’s not up to me is it?”

“No, it’s up to the one we’re calling upon,” said another cow. The bull began mocking and shaking his head in disbelief. Then the cows made the request.

“We don’t know your name, or where you are exactly, but we know that rain comes downwards from where you are. Would you, whatever you are, be so kind as to send this bull a big, gnarly tree so he can scratch his self on it and some thunder in the sky, so it breaks up this humidity, er, p-per-please?”

In an instant, a clap of thunder was heard directly above them, after a shocking bolt of lightning struck the ground nearby. It was raining again and the cows could feel the humidity clearing. They then looked around for a tree, to see if that request had been answered, but saw no rough, gnarly tree in the neighbouring field. What they did see though, was steam arising from a certain point in the field next to them. Looking over the fence, one of the cows saw something interesting.

“Anyone of us order steak?”

“No,” said the other cow and another commented, “Definitely not!”

“Ah… Well, I think I know what’s happened to the bull…”

“Where’s the tree?” asked the third cow.

“Well, there’s no need for it now, really, if you care to take a look…”

And they chuckled, then thanked the one they called upon, for the fresh rain and mooed loudly with gratitude, as they jumped and danced around the field.

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